Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Most Annoying in Sports (July 20)

Look! It's Rex Ryan!
Credit for this idea goes to Jack Erwin and Chris Yuscavage from Great idea guys!

There’s a lot to love about sports. Whether it’s the thrill of your favorite teams’ victory, the joy of witnessing Lebron’s humiliation, or the sheer pleasure of placing “The Victory Call” to your best friend; sports provides us with countless great moments and many fantastic characters.

Of course, in addition to the good aspects of sports, there are the bad. Even worse, there is the annoying…

Think of how you feel when Brett Favre announces he is coming back for ONE MORE year. Think of how you feel when Anderson Varejao goes flying after a 5-10 point guard nudges him off a screen. Think of it...picture it…feel it! YES!

I don’t know about you, but I’m very easily annoyed and I can quickly turn on a sports figure for even the most imperceptible of slights. Recently, I saw an article from listing the 50 most annoying people in sports, and it got me thinking. Of the many, many people who annoy me, who stands out from the rest? And so, since you and I are now in the proper frame of mind (and also because you might have already listened to the podcast) here are my Top 35 Most Annoying People in Sports!

Note: Hatred and Annoyance will obviously bleed into one another, but I’m keeping them as separate as possible. Also, keep in mind that I put this list together rather quickly and I’m sure there are some gross oversights. Please take the time to comment on this and let me know who I missed and who annoys the crap out of you…even if it’s me!

35. Tom Brady

I love Tom Brady with all my heart…..but that awful, awful hair! It’s a sacrilege!

34. Scott Boras

Honestly, I can’t really even pinpoint why I’m annoyed by him. Money grabbing is a fact of sports (and life) and it barely registers with me anymore. Still, the mere mention of his name puts me on edge.

33. Terrell Owens

On one hand, I’m severely annoyed by TO’s antics. On the other, I’m extremely entertained. For example, “That’s my teammate! That’s my quarterback.” The whole thing annoyed the crap out of me, but I couldn’t stop clicking the replay button on YouTube!

32. Drew Rosenhaus

Oddly enough, I probably wouldn’t have included Rosenhaus on my list before this year. The whole TO doing pushups in his driveway incident seems so long ago, and really, as a Cowboys fan, why would I be annoyed at an agent holding out our main division rivals’ best player? But really, saying Terrelle Pryor is a “great” player and a first round pick is just going too far.

31. Mike Brown

Considering my Cincinnati background, the Bengals have always been a team I’ve rooted for. You can’t imagine how many times I’ve saved them on Madden! If you ask me, the fact that Brown is still allowed to annually tank one of only 30 NFL franchises is a black eye on the league.

30. Chris Berman

It’s not that he’s used the exact same material for the last 30 years…it’s that I genuinely just dislike his voice. Seriously, that’s it.

29. Bob Knight

As a Kentucky fan, it’s second nature for me to hate all things Indiana basketball. Growing up, Knight was always one of my biggest villains, and now he’s taken his rightful place as an annoying analyst. It’s not so much his monotone delivery or his angry demeanor that annoys me…it’s his recent penchant for making ignorant, inflammatory remarks about the corruption in the sport. Right, because Knight was an outstanding guy! Hey, remember that one time when he choked a player?! Give me a break Bob! Specifically, stop aiming your unfounded comments at Kentucky…you have no idea what you’re talking about!

28. Charlotte Bobcats

I am annoyed at their very existence. Charlotte already had a team and they didn’t support them…why should they get a second chance only a decade later? Also, their name, logo, and colors are stupid. Go away Charlotte!

27. Lance Armstrong

Let me go ahead and say this so everyone can quickly freak out and get it over with. I. DON’T. CARE. THAT. HE. BEAT. CANCER. Got it? He’s the worst of the cheaters, and he’s one of the more underrated tools in the history of sports. What kind of guy ditches his wife, who stuck with him through everything, for a younger, hotter woman after he hits it big? Seriously, the fact that he fought through cancer does not change how big a cheater/jerk Lance Armstrong is.

26. Lebron James

He would obviously rank much higher on my hate list, but I also feel a genuine sense of annoyance at his abandonment of greatness. It’s such a huge disappointment to me that he attempted to shortcut his way to a championship instead of taking the next step in leading his own team to glory. Also, somebody needs to get him a new script for his press conferences. I’m getting sick of hearing about how he doesn’t listen to what people say and how he takes it one day at a time. I get it Lebron, you’re too dumb to understand why people hate you so you’re just going to act like a robot. Good plan.

25. John Sterling


Just horrible…

24. Tennis Champions

Is there some sort of unknown rule about tennis celebrations that requires every single player to drop to their knees and throw their hands up like Willem Dafoe in Platoon? Has anybody ever NOT done this?

23. Geno Auriemma

So, let me get this straight Geno. You want me to watch women’s college basketball, AND like it? Umm…no. Color me annoyed that you would even consider such a thing.

22. Chris Bosh

He looks like Jar-Jar Binks! How is that not annoying? I honestly get upset every time he makes a shot!

21. Jerry Jones

You had to expect this one, right? After all, I’m a Cowboys fan! You might be surprised to know that I have some very conflicting emotions on Jerry Jones as my teams’ owner. I love the fact that Jerry is invested in the franchise and spares no expense in making it better. Recent failures aside, the Cowboys have three Super Bowl championships under Jerry’s ownership. However, his obsessive need for hands on control is frustrating and is likely the single biggest obstacle to the franchise’s success. Can’t you just hire a real coach and a real GM so you can sit up in your luxury box and get Botox injections all game? Pretty please?

20. Jameer Nelson

I’m probably the only person alive who gets this annoyed at Jameer Nelson, but I really can’t stand watching him. He’s got weird, women eyes, he’s really short (kinda chunky), and he’s a point guard who can’t pass.

19. Stephen A. Smith

Back in the day, S.A.S. would have been a strong contender for the top spot, but his long overdue fall from grace severely tempers my annoyance. Unfortunately, he’s making a bit of a comeback, and I’m beginning to fear I’ll once again be subjected to his way-too-loud, arrogant, preachy monologues. JUST GO AWAY! AND STAY AWAY!

18. Tom Coughlin

OK, let’s get this straight right now. I am NOT late if I’m on time! If you wanted me here five minutes earlier then you should have changed the start time to five minutes earlier! I am not late to an 8:00 film session if the film session starts at 8:00! Put down the bottle for a few minutes Tom, and think this one through you crazy, rosy cheeked old man!

17. Manu Ginobili

He’s got a horrible receding hairline, he’s left handed, and he flops like a soccer player. Everything I could possibly be annoyed at!

16. Doug Gottlieb

I actually call him mini-Cowherd. Slightly lower levels of ignorance and arrogance, but impressive (and annoying) nonetheless.

15. Soccer Players

Seriously, stop with the acting! Stop falling down like you’ve been run through with a halberd! Goodness gracious, we have football players (and you know what I mean by football…I mean REAL football) finishing up games on torn ACL’s and broken bones, and you’ve got to writhe on the ground for ten minutes because you got a little boo-boo? Please…

14. Ron Jaworski

YOU DON’T HAVE TO SAY NATIONAL FOOTBALL LEAGUE EVERY TIME! YOU CAN CALL IT THE ‘NFL!’ You can’t even begin to understand how much this bothers me…also, his nickname bothers me.

13. Lou Holtz

Where to begin with this one?! He’s about 160 years old, I can barely understand him because of his out of control lisp, and he’s so senile that he probably still thinks Ron Powlus is the next big thing. He’s so crazy at this point that I can’t even really hate him, but man does he annoy the crap out of me.

12. Mark Jackson

Hand down, man down? How does that even make sense? Thank goodness he’s finally leaving the broadcast booth, because I seriously can’t take anymore of his stupid catch-phrases.

11. Stan Van Gundy

This is getting to the point where I seriously wouldn’t be upset if half the season was lost because the league was held up negotiating a “No Mock Turtle Neck” provision in the CBA. WEAR A REAL FREAKING SHIRT, STAN! AND SHAVE THAT STUPID MUSTACHE! Also, he sucks at coaching…

10. Stuart Scott

BOO-YAH! Umm….boo-no. OK, I’ll just come out with it. You’re gonna think I’m a terrible person, but I have to say it. That glass eye bothers me a lot! I can’t even watch the guy! I’m not trying to be mean or anything, but I just get too distracted…to everyone with a glass eye, I’m sorry. It isn’t personal.

9. Dwight Howard

There is no one alive who whines at referees more than Dwight Howard…not even Kobe! Seriously, Howard could literally throw Stan Van Gundy at an opposing player and still complain about a foul call! I make an honest effort every single year to love Dwight, but it’s just so hard sometimes. I hate whiners, and Howard is so blatantly stupid with his whining that I’m always pushed over the edge.

8. The FOX Robot

What is the purpose of this stupid thing? He just jumps around time after time, looking like he’s straight from the early 90’s. Seriously, how long have they had that stupid robot?! How can a multi-billion dollar television network not come up with something a little cleverer than a hyped up hunk of steel?

7. Skip Bayless

I’m not sure what’s more annoying, his constant yelling or the things that he’s yelling about. I’m really not even sure why he’s on a sports show because, quite honestly, he doesn’t know a darn thing about sports! To this day, the closest I’ve ever come to giving up sports and cancelling ESPN is when Stephen A. Smith and Skip were screaming at each other on First Take. It was an absolute abomination of sports. Seriously, is there anyone alive who is more illogical than Skip Bayless? And also who so arrogantly clings to his illogical ideas? Umm…now that I think about it…well, we’ll get to it.

6. Sideline Reporters

“Coach, your team has given up 60 points in the first half, what do you need to do differently going forward?”

“Play better defense…”

Seriously, where do they get their questions from? Haven they written down anything before hand, or do they just go into it all willy-nilly? I have yet to figure out what the point of having sideline reporters are, as their inane interview questions do little to inform. In all seriousness, networks should only hire super hot sideline reporters so nobody would actually care about a single word they say during their “interviews.”

5. Rex Ryan

I don’t mind a little trash talking, but you gotta back it up at some point Rex! And “running” into the end zone after a touchdown, looking like Jabba the Hut, doesn’t count! Maybe you thought all the talk would impress us, or that you’d win some sort of offseason paper championship if the 2011 season was actually cancelled. Well Rex, we’re not impressed. In fact, all you’ve managed to do is annoy us into overlooking how good a coach you actually are and how successful you’ve been to this point.

4. NBA Referees

Some of them are dirty, some of them are 135 years old, and some of them are just plain incompetent. Whatever the case may be, it’s simply inexcusable how bad the officiating in the NBA is. In particular, the recent trend of giving out technical fouls for even the slightest of confrontations has nearly sent me over the edge several times. Come on guys, this is a man’s game!

3. Jimmy Dykes

Dykes is VERY underrated in the annoyance category. He blows even Dick Vitale out of the water! For whatever reason, ESPN always seems to assign him to Kentucky games, so I have my fair share of Dykes stories to tell. In one game last year, he made a big deal out of Kentucky driving to “the nail.” No kidding, he talked about that stupid freaking nail the entire game, bringing it up at least another twenty or more times! WE KNOW JIMMY! THE FREAKING NAIL! That’s his thing though…he finds something he wants to talk about (the nail, the middle third of the floor, Jodie Meeks’ violent cuts, bad turnovers vs. good turnovers) and simply murders the subject throughout the course of the game. I honestly thought Brad Nessler was going to kill him once or twice. Trust me, if I could have reached through the TV, I would have done it for him!

2. Brett Favre

Do I even need to explain this one? Back in the day, when he would only talk about retiring in the offseason, I deeply loved and respected Favre. Since then, he’s retired and un-retired every year since the NFL-AFL merger, held three franchises hostage, attempted to sabotage Aaron Rodgers career, texted pictures of Little Brett to a girl nearly half his age, drove me insane with those stupid Wrangler commercials and hi-jacked Sportscenter for months at a time. So yeah…I’m slightly perturbed. On the plus side, he ended the Vikings 2009 playoff run in true Favre fashion and singlehandedly tanked their 2010 season, thus making Prince as miserable as he’s ever been in his life. At least it wasn’t a total waste.

1. Colin Cowherd

WINNER! The single most annoying man in sports! It was a tight race between him and Brett, but at least I have a glimmer of hope that Brett will finally go away for good…or that he’ll be killed after one good all out blitz. Cowherd used to be a beacon of hope for progressive sports radio, but somewhere along the line he got lost in the shock jock radio scene. You can’t even tell if Cowherd believes what he’s saying anymore! His commentary is ignorant, arrogant, short sighted, sometimes racist, and always stupid. Worst of all, HE’S ALWAYS ON! YOU CAN’T ESCAPE HIM!

Honerable Mention (aka. people I completely overlooked)

Jason Whitlock
Pat Forde
Dick Vitale (I don't find him all that annoying)
Jim Rome
Hawk Harrelson
Brian Cashman
Dusty Baker
J.T. Snow (I have an old, illogical grudge)
Dwyane Wade
Clark Kellogg

Please leave comments...I'm very interested.


  1. It's sad to admit, but the whole week after the Vikings lost to the Saints was probably the most depressing week of my life.

  2. Pretty sure I called you every day.

  3. Did you call every day because you were supposed to be on suicide watch? Because I'm pretty sure you were trying to push me closer to the ledge. Anyway, I have another annoying thing for my list. After you brought up Geno Auriemma I remembered those stupid commercials that claim "basketball is basketball," so if you watch the NBA then you should also love the WNBA. The commercials show that the 2 leagues are exactly the same because there is passing and the players hold up their fingers to communicate with each other. I know I don't speak for everyone here, but I would love to go to an NBA game next year, but as for the WNBA I would either have to lose a colassal bet or be given a large sum of money to waste a night on that.

  4. Yes, I called specifically to push you over the ledge! I ALWAYS do that!

    Also, good call on the WNBA thing. Those commercials are ridiculous. Guess what? Basketball is NOT basketball...

  5. THEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE YANKEES WIN!!!!!! Wow, I actually had no idea that this annoyed you... and I simply can't wait to do this every time I'm in your presence for the rest of our lives!

    Also... did somebody forget how many NFL teams there are? Hmmm?

  6. To be fair, it's been a long time since the NFL was around! I also could successfully argue that the Raiders and Panthers are no longer in the NFL.

  7. You don't like it when Kornheiser says "JWAS" in his crazy New York accent? I always loved that. You're right about the "NFL" thing though.

    "... networks should only hire super hot sideline reporters." I'm sorry, are they doing otherwise at this point? I hadn't noticed!

    You're dead on about Rex... my goodness, if only he wasn't such a clown and didn't say ridiculous things all the time, just think what a big deal he'd be already in his career! Instead, he's somehow an underachiever.

  8. Do you need me to post some pictures of the horribly ugly sideline reporters that are currently employed?

  9. I'd contend that Dirk belongs in the same slot as Dwight...mainly just because Dirk is a 9 foot tall jump shooter who goes to the line if you try to make his shot harder and thinks that he deserves to... Can we also throw a few MLB umps in there for me and Casey? CB Bucknor, Laz Diaz, and "Country means eject all of both teams" Joe West?

  10. Yeah I suppose I should have just lumped all refs/umps/officiating crews into one. Also, Dirk? I don't find him annoying at all, and he doesn't whine anywhere near as much as Dwight.

  11. Since we're mentioning baseball, I'd like to throw in Nomar too. Even though he's retired, I'm still annoyed at how much of my life he wasted while adjusting his gloves.

  12. Sean Casey used to be the worst for that, but I think he just had too much fun to annoy anyone.

  13. That and I liked The Mayor. Really, how could you hate him?