Monday, August 1, 2011

NFL Free Agency Day 3 Review

I can't even begin to express how odd this picture is...
Wait? It's not Day 3 anymore? I missed the entire weekend?! CRAP!

So, I went ahead and bought a house last week. At the time, it seemed like a really good, after approximately 700 consecutive hours of labor, a death match with the horrible wallpaper in the master bedroom, and a literal death match involving my mom falling off a ladder and shattering her wrist, I'm starting to think I should go ahead and put it back on the market. In case my wife reads this, I'm only kidding! It's a joke! (Seriously though, does anyone want to buy a house???)

All this to say, I haven't had the slightest bit of time (or energy) to keep up with my free agency reviews. This is highly unfortunate as I'm sure all of you hang on my every word. (Leaving time for you to stop laughing...waiting...waiting...and...done)

Today, we'll cover a busy Day 3 in free agency (Thursday) and tomorrow I'll tackle the weekend (Day 4-6). Hopefully, if all goes to plan, I'll be able to recap the entire free agent period and hand out my awards. In case you missed it, here's my recap of Day 1 and Day 2.

DE Jason Babin signs with Philadelphia

As you know by now, Philly has opened up their coffers, going after anyone and everyone with the slightest hint of a pulse. This might not have been reported yet, but they actually called and offered me a 2 year deal to follow Mike Vick around with a camera so I can photograph him snuggling with puppies. But enough about me, let's talk about how horrible the Jason Babin signing is. Overall, I think Philadelphia's offseason strategy is short-sighted and irresponsible, and I feel confident in predicting Babin will be the poster child of the debacle. History (and Dan Snyder) has shown time and time again that free agency is not the way to build your team. In the short term, Philly will be good...but they would have been good anyways! Long term, they'll probably have a lot of cap issues. Babin, specifically, is the type of signing that can help sink a teams salary cap. Masked by his breakout 12.5 sack performance last season is a 31 year old defensive end who's bounced around the league for 7 seasons, played for 5 teams (including Philly once before), and registered a paltry 17.5 sacks in his first 6 seasons combined. Next stop for Jason Babin, Cap Casualtyville.

RB Reggie Bush traded to Miami

I have never been more disappointed in how a non-Cowboys player turned out more than I am with Reggie Bush. Anyone who watched him at USC can attest to how dynamic and flat out dominant he was. For whatever reason, that just hasn't translated to the NFL as well as most people thought it would. People can make excuses for him all they want, but for a player who was supposed to be the next Barry Sanders, Bush has been a pretty sizable bust. That having been said, I'm excited about this trade! Miami has essentially handed the job to him, and, while that doesn't actually make any sense, it means I'll be watching a lot more Miami Dolphins football than normal. As disappointing as Bush's first 5 seasons have been, there's still a bit of hope. He's only 26, he's got a relatively small amount of wear on the tires, and he's being given his very first real opportunity to carry the load. There are major question marks about his health and his ability to handle 200+ carries, but as thin as the current crop of RB's is, Miami could do much worse than run with a major talent like Bush.

Detroit re-signs starting QB Drew Stanton

Why even play around with semantics? Once Mr. Glass goes down in Week 3, Stanton will again be king of Detroit...

G Daryn Colledge signs with Arizona

I don't know the specifics, but a 5YR $27.5MIL deal seems a bit hefty for a guard. Still, Arizona had some major holes on their offensive line, and after giving up a kings ransom for Kevin Kolb (more on that later), keeping him upright and off the sidelines has to be a major priority. Colledge hasn't yet missed a game in his career and his career AV (approximate value) of 39 is excellent.

DE Stephen Bowen puts on a ski-mask and robs Dan Snyder

As a Cowboy fan, I'd love to have Stephen Bowen back. He's solid as a situational pass rusher...but that's about it. For Washington to give him $12.5MIL in guaranteed money is absolutely ridiculous...and not at all surprising. This is what Washington does! They hand out money like it's prescription samples! You'd think, after all the mistakes, losing, and ridicule, that they'd learn their lesson. Apparently not. Not that it bothers me. I hate the Deadskins and I will continue to revel in their incompetence. Long live Dan Snyder!

Philadelphia trades QB Kevin Kolb to Arizona for a 2nd round pick and CB Dominique Rodgers-Cromartie

I've said this before and I'll say it again...Arizona is stupid. Not only did they give up a valuable 2nd round pick, but they also surrendered a Pro Bowl CB whom they invested the #16 pick in just three years ago! A 1st and a 2nd round pick for a guy with 7 starts, an 11-14 TD-INT ratio, and a career rating of only 73.2??? Really??? On top of that, they gave him a 5YR $63MIL contract with $22MIL in guarantees!!! INSANITY!!! For whatever reason, some people are enamored with Kolb. Personally, I don't see it. At best, he's a less accurate Chad Pennington, and that's not a compliment. Yet, pundits continue to praise Arizona because "Kolb is definitely better than what they currently have." Guess what? ANYBODY IS BETTER THAN WHAT THEY CURRENTLY HAVE!!! Just because they improved doesn't make it a good move. Here's an idea, instead of giving up your soul for an average to below average QB, why not give up a 3rd rounder for someone who's actually good? Like Kyle Orton! Yes, that's right Arizona, you can keep your valuable 2nd rounder and your young, Pro Bowl CB, AND have a drastic improvement at QB! What a genius idea!

By the way, I'm extremely angry at this deal. In all honesty, I think Roger Goodell should have vetoed this deal. That's how awful I think it is. I'm upset that Philly will be bailed out of their stupid free agent moves and I'm upset that an NFC East rival was allowed to get this type of unfair competitive advantage.

RB Darren Sproles signs with New Orleans

This makes a ton of sense for New Orleans, but it's a surprise on Sproles' end of things. The Saints already have Mark Ingram, Pierre Thomas, and Chris Ivory in the fold for next year. While Sproles should have no problem carving out a special teams/3rd down role, I would have thought he would be looking for an opportunity to get more touches.

Minnesota releases S Madieu Williams

This is an actual text from Prince: "Vikings release Madieu Williams...I'm so happy." He absolutely despises him. Heck, he even ranked him in his Top 25 Most Annoying in Sports!

WR Chad Ochocinco traded to New England

In a matter of about 14 hours, New England went from being minor players to being the single most interesting/controversial team in free agency. A lot of people are going to be talking about how "risky" this move is (and the Haynesworth trade), but that seems like nothing more than a default, canned response to me. Ocho is an extremely polarizing talent, but he hasn't been anywhere near the kind of cancer people make him out to be. The bigger question is how much he has left in the tank. His production has steadily declined the past few seasons, but I doubt New England is expecting a 100 catch season from him. He's not the big play threat he once was, but he gives Brady a big target to compliment the smaller, quicker Wes Welker/Deion Branch/Brandon Tate weapons. Again, don't expect a Pro Bowl from Ochocinco, but 40-50 catches will more than justify the pair of late round picks they gave up.

TE Greg Olsen traded to Carolina

The more time I spend thinking about Carolina's big spending offseason, the more I think they're making a big mistake. Overall, I think they'll regret the Thomas Davis and DeAngelo Williams re-signings, and perhaps even the Charles Johnson contract. One thing they won't regret is dealing for Greg Olsen. With all signs pointing to Cam Newton starting this season, it's vital that Carolina do everything in its power to throw him a life preserver. As you know, I hate Newton and I think he's going to bust. Still, the talent is there if he can ever figure things out. By adding a solid crop of tight ends (Olsen, Shockey, Hartsock), Carolina gives Newton the type of safety valves that he'll  need to avoid setting records for passer inefficieny and interceptions. It may not prove to be enough, but at least they tried!

RT Tyson Clabo re-signs with Atlanta

If you were a free agent and you were deciding between Buffalo and Atlanta, how much extra would it take for you to voluntarily play in 24 feet of snow every Sunday? $1 million? $5 million? $250 million? Higher?

CB Johnathan Joseph signs with Houston

For Houston: This was an incredibly savvy move. I don't know whether they gave up on Nnamdi or whether this was their plan all along, but giving far less money to a CB who's 3 years younger was the right decision. Sure, Nnamdi's a better player at this point, but I give Joseph a much better chance of earning his contract over the long haul. Now, let's see what creative ways Wade Phillips can come up with to ruin him!

For Cincinnati: They might be the dumbest franchise in the history of sports...and that includes franchises that went out of business! They have tons of cap room and they're not targeting anyone to use it on. So, why wouldn't you do everything in your power to hang on to your best defensive player? Oh, that's right, Mike Brown is their owner. Sorry I asked.

Note: As someone who's name is Jonathan, I'm offended at how Johnathan Joseph spells his name. Get it right!

K David Akers signs with San Francisco

Like many people, I enjoy the Madden video game...a lot. Many years ago, probably Madden 06, I had an interesting incident involving David Akers. In a game against the Eagles, Philly suffered a couple of injuries to their offensive line. So, as you would expect, they subbed David Akers at right guard...that's right, tiny David Akers at right guard. Needless to say, I called an endless stream of inside blitzes, all aimed directly at Akers. After being run over and trampled en route to allowing approximately 1000 sacks, Akers died. No, seriously, he retired in the offseason from "career ending injuries."


I'm sure I missed some stuff from Thursday, but I'll try to hit on everything in my big free agency recap. Like I said, this house is taking up most of my spare time, so expect things to be slower for the time being. I'll do my best to knock out a free agency podcast soon, but I can't promise anything.


  1. "I'm excited about this trade... it means I'll be watching a lot more Miami Dolphins football than normal." I'm sorry, I fail to see the logic here. You were HOPING to see more of Chad Henne/Matt Moore (arguably THE two worst QBs last season!)? I must have missed something.

    Also, I like your 'analysis' on the Akers signing... my team's big move! (Okay, so since then we've actually signed a real football player in Braylon Edwards... but still.) Thanks for your insights on him though! Very helpful!

  2. I just want to watch Reggie Bush! I love him...for no logical reason. And actually, now that Dolphins fans have fully turned on Henne, this whole Dolphins season could be the stuff of legends!